Why is it that when you are tired, beat, or just plain run ragged you yet again are willing to keep running and being busy just to see someone? Is it because even though talking is good seeing them is the most improtant or just the thing to keep you going? When you're tired and just want to be close to someone why is it that you just can't stop thinking of them? It interfears with your school, work, and other doings throughout the normal day.

If you are with someone then are you supposed to be loving with them. I mean are you supposed to touchy feely. What if you don't really love them. Shouldn't you wait to be that close to someone who you really really love. It's just not fair to be that close to someone who you don't really love and lead them on right???

So, Yet again another wonderful day at school, not. Well, I just finished my first calculus test...whew! Enough about school...
I am not sure where to start. When you discuss your past with someone are you able to be judged about it accordingly. And if you're not what if it still hurts you? What are you supposed to do with that pain? What if the pain is so great that it can't be supressed? You cry yourself to sleep, but still can't stop thinking of them. You don't necessarily care about their past, but their past does affect your future. What do you do if you give everything you have to someone but what they give you back is everything they have; yet not as much as you?
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I think that the pain ends up numbing you. You push it aside, but when it comes up you can't ignore those fears, tears, and emotions that break your heart.
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Well, I am finally back to school after being sick...well...I am still sick. So my wonderful boyfriend brought me to school today because I was too sick to drive. Isn't he great? I know he is. So, I know that all of you are extremely happy to have me back for blogs because I had so many messages from you all. Well, class is about to start. I'll be back soon.

Well, it's yet again another week, and this time I am sick. Being sick sucks here at school because you can only miss so many days. You go to class feeling like crap, get everyone else sick, and finally when you just start to feel better you catch it again. Stupid.
Why is it when your sick you feel up to nothing yet want to see someone? You want to see them but don't want to get them sick. You simply want to see them because they would make you feel better. Is it selfish?

Hello again!
I just wanted to give a quick reminder that tomorrow is the 2nd two month anniversary for me and my love.
Chels

Dear (Friend),

Well...this summer seems to have flown by. All I have done is worked, worked, and worked. There was always that occasional trip to Hawaii and Idaho. Hawaii was amazing; no work, miles of beach, and a hot tan for free. Idaho was definately the hardest trip for me to leave for, but I'll get to that later.

Something (or I guess you could say someone) extraordinary happened to me this summer. First you have to understand the past. I dated this amazing guy about four years ago, but due to idiotic circumstances we ened up apart for the past few years. Anyways, out of the blue he called me and wanted to just see how I was and if I wanted to hang out. Ironically enough I already had plans (extravagant plans) for the evening. To everyone's amazment I broke the long time reserved plans and decided to meet up with my ex-guy. We meeted up and went to see a movie. After the movie we hung out for a couple of hours just catching up. I know ...I know...all the same old feeling were back the second I saw him. I didn't think (At the time) that they were recipricated, but I was happy enough to finally have my BEST friend back. I couldn't ask for more.

Well...to make a long story short we are finally back to the same couple we had always been. He never left my heart. I guess you could say that we were on a journey to find each other again. Granted we both had relationships while we were apart; they only made us see that no one else could fit the mold for each of us as we do for each other. He is everything I could ask for and all my heart needs to keep trucking on.

Since we normally rate times or topics in our lives against each other this summer is off the charts. I have never gotten everything thing I desire more at any other time. Leaving him at the airport when I left for Idaho was the hardest thing to do because I could never walk away from him again. This is truly the best summer ever not just one of those silly cliches. I carry his hear twith me (litterally) and he carries mine. You try to explain the things that happen in one summer, your feelings, and you new found expectations, but you just can't because there are not words which would do justice to your feelings. So I guess that you could imagine...THE thing you love most in the entire world being taken from you and then you suddenly finding it again. That unexpected joy...I am sure that you know what I am trying to unvail even though I can't through words.

Nothing else in summer matters because I found what was lost. And once you find the thing you lost you keep a close eye on it. Love never leaves your heart even if you are torn apart.Work hard for that love. Nothing else is worth that much hard work.

Find your unforetable summer,
Chels